My Unhealthy Habit: Watching the Numbers
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Hi. Hey. Hello Everyone. It’s me again. Back at ya with another blog.
But seriously, the other day diabetes was really getting on the nerves, like SO much. I managed to stay calm for a little while but everything seemed to come piling down at me all in one go and it was frustrating. You know in some films where someone starts getting pelted with a load of tennis balls…THAT’S WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO ME.
So basically, I had a mad few days where my glucose were just swinging from high to low constantly and it was getting very frustrating. Now, a few years ago I started this unhealthy obsession with staring at the data from my CGM whenever something like this would happen. I would check what my numbers were, literally every few minutes. It would typically happen more when my glucose were higher than I’d like. I would find myself giving a bolus and just checking them again, like every 5 minutes or so to see whether they were coming down or not.
It was very unnecessary.
It was also becoming very unhealthy because I seemed to be worrying about the numbers like I never had done before.
So, whenever I have bad days now and start worrying about numbers I always think back to my mindset a couple of years ago to make sure I don’t get back into the cycle of obsessing. Back then I decided to have a CGM break, which at the time was TERRIFYING but did the whole world of good.
Although I wasn't using my CGM I was still making sure I was being safe and testing my glucose via a finger prick with my blood glucose monitor. But because you can't see those numbers every minute, you get such a different kind of feeling...ya know? I must have been testing anywhere from 6-8 times a day as an average, maybe more on other days. Testing when I woke up, before I went to bed, before I ate and sometimes in between if I felt like I needed to.
REMEMBER, the numbers DO NOT determine your worth. They don’t tell you whether you’re a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ diabetic. Don’t put yourself down over the numbers; you’re doing the best you can.
Cally x